Getting to the bottom of things!

As far as sax goes, bottoming can be a tough job.I'm not referring to the pain of taking a big penis. I'm talking about all the prep work one has to do before the act. Yes, i'm talking about douching. It irks me when guys who want to hook up with you don't give you advanced notice and want you to be ready to go in like 10 minutes. Sorry buddy, but unless you want a mess on your sheets, tool and/or torso, you need to give me advanced notice.

Yes, cleaning oneself can sometimes be a chore. I prefer having as much advanced notice as possible, so I can be fully ready and as clean as possible. If I know a day ahead of time i'll watch what I eat or even try not eating much, if anything at all. And for all those sex advice blogs that think it's no big deal and that cleaning the mess is part of the fun, try telling that to a guy who's wearing the remains of your last meal all over his penis. So yes, being a bottom can be a pain in the ass at times (no pun intended, haha), so for all you eager tops, give a guy a break and practice some patience. Give us bottoms time to do our thing so that you can do your thing mess-free. ;-)

About Frenums

Today I was with a dude with a Frenum piercing. The jewelry wasn't metal, which was nice, 'cause I don't care much for the flavor of metal. I found it easier to maneuver the task than with a Prince Albert. He was a fun bear too.

Intrusive Questions

I have nothing to write about at the moment so I thought i'd answer these questions that I found on other blogger's sites.

 

1. How old were you when you knew you were gay?

When I was young I always had a romantic "thing" for dudes. Then as a teenager in the locker rooms is when I figured out exactly what it was.

2. Have you ever had sex with the opposite sex?

Yeah and it's not as bad as some gay men would have you believe.

3. Who was the first person you came out to?

Myself.

4. Are you out to your family?

My parents know, my brother knows. Everyone else knows too, we just didn't have that talk. And if they don't know they're blind.

5. Do you want children?

No my cats are enough.

6. Do you have more gay friends or straight friends?

I actually have more straight friends. I get along great with straight females and I tend to get along better with straight dudes as well. Lesbians are cool but gay men tend to be too much drama at times.

7. Were you out in school?

Not really.

8. Is your best friend the same sex as you?

No but she's a gay man trapped in the body of a woman.

9. If your best friend is the same sex, have you ever had sex with them?

No but she and I have kissed before. We were drunk and goofing around.

10. Have you ever done crystal meth?

Nah. The only drug I ever enjoyed was acid back in my teens/early twenties.

11. Have you ever been in a sling?

Yep, got put there by a hot otter.

12. Have you ever done a 3-way?

Yes. 3-way, 4-way, 5-way....

13. Have you ever dressed in drag?

No

14. Would you date a drag queen?

Nah 'cause I like men with facial hair and naturally hairy bodies, and in order to successfully pull off the drag they'd have to shave.

15. Are you 'fixed in your ways' as it were?

Yes I am. Aren't we all to some degree?

Original 15. Are you a top/bottom or truly versatile?

More bottom although I do top on occassion.

16. Cher or Bette?

Bette. She's just more naturally sassy.

17. Have you dated someone of a different ethnicity?

Yes I have.

18. Been to Fire Island? Saugatuck? Key West? Ft. Lauderdale? Palm Springs?

I wouldn't be caught dead at Fire Island, where the hell is Saugatuck? Key West and Ft. Lauderdale i'll pass on. Yes to Palm Springs but that was for the Coachella music festival.

Original 18. Have you ever barebacked?

Yes I have.

19. How many Madonna CDs do you own?

Most of them except for her last one. I didn't care for her dip into hip hop too much.

20. Name of your first love?

Danny

21. Do you still talk to them?

No

22. Does size matter?

It kinda does but at the same time if you don't know how to use it then it doesn't. A small or average guy can leave you just as sore and gaping as mr. ten incher if he does it right. ;-)

23. Biggest turn on?

Facial hair, body hair, tattoos.

24. Biggest turn off?

Narcissism.

25. Ever been harassed due to your orientation?

I recall some kids in high school didn't talk to me 'cause they thought I was gay.

26. Worst gay stereotype that applies to you?

I own a lot of damn shoes. In fact, I just talked myself into not going into a certain store to see if those shoes I saw the other day were still there.

27. Ever been to a pride rally?

Many many times.

28. Would you marry if you could?

No. I believe that us gay men have the right be get married, but I also believe that marriage is not for everyone, and i'm pretty sure that it's most definitely not for me.

29. Would you rather be rich and smart or young and beautiful?

Rich and smart. Youth and beauty don't last, but if you're rich you can make them last for a long time.

30. Do you sculpt your eyebrows?

Hell no!

31. Do you trim your body hair?

Hell no!!!! Ok I do trim my back but that's because it gets too damn hairy and I have no desire to look like an escaped extra from the Planet Of The Apes franchise.

32. Ever had sex with more than one person in a day?

Yes.

33. Ever been to an orgy?

Yes. I have a bear friend who hosts them every so often. I've been known to attend. :-)

34. Which character in "The Women" best reflects you?

Never saw that flick.

35. Favorite gay expression?

Like OMG!

36. How may 'exes' do you have?

3

37. Do you believe in fairies?

No

38. Do you have any tattoos?

7 and counting.

39. Do you have any piercings?

Just nose and used to have my tongue but I took it out and it healed. I'm still debating whether to get my nipples done or not.

40. Would you date a smoker?

Probably not.

41. If you are male, do you know many lesbians?

Yes I do.

42. Do you know anyone who has died from HIV?

No I haven't.

43. Are you part of a gay organization?

No i'm not.

44. Is your gym cruisy?

I don't go to a gym.

45. Grinder or Scruff?

Neither. Until just recently I found out what Scruff was.

46. Are your best years behind or in front of you?

In front of me or so I hope.

47. Got Porn?

Yes!

48. Make out music?

Massive Attack is good, or Boards Of Canada.

49. Ever been in love with a straight guy?

Nope, just lustful fantasies.

50. Did you ever have sex with him?

We got drunk and kissed, but it was more of a bromance kinda thing.

51. Have you ever been to a nude beach?

No but I once gave a friend directions to one that I found on the internet when he called me up.

52. Have you ever been to a bath house?

Yes I have.

53. Ever had sex in public?

Nope.

54. What gay gene did you miss out?

I'm not a flamboyant queen, I don't give a rat's ass about Aberzombie & Fitch....

3 Things

Rant
This rant has to do with all the websites and blogs online where the owner is under the delusion that they're some high fashion consultant and feel the need to tell people how to dress, what to wear and not to wear. In particular, I find it annoying when people write blogs and articles complaining about men wearing flip-flops. Honestly, who really gives a fuck what a guy wears on his feet? I agree that it's not appropriate wear at the office, but other than that why is it such a big deal? I've read an alarming number of blogs and sites where people bitch and complain about something as insignificant as them seeing a guy wearing flip-flops with jeans at the local taco shack or coffee shop. I personally happen to find that many guys look hot with jeans and flip-flops anyway.  In the end who really gives a crap????

Halloween
Halloween weekend was pretty cool and mellow. I went out with some friends, did some drinking, did some dancing, went to a fun haunted house, and ate too much candy. One friend got way too drunk and made an ass of herself, embarrassing herself and everyone else that was around her (including some of her co-workers). Apparantly practicing restraint while drinking with co-workers is something that never occurred to her and now she's paranoid because they're all suddenly acting distant. Can we say DUH???? She's now on this "i'm going to monitor my drinking" kick but I know her well enough to know that this will last as long as a plate of tuna in front of a cat.

Advice
An out-of-state friend has been e-mailing me and telling me the details of some dude he's been messing around with. Apparantly this dude he's met is bisexual and doesn't have much experience with guys (or so he claims). But after receiving his first rimjob from my friend he wants to try more and wants my friend to be the 1st guy to pop his manhole. My friend is asking me for advice 'cause he's afraid he'll have performance issues. I told him not to sweat it and just enjoy it. I just find it amusing that i'm being asked for advice on something like this.

2 Different Dudes, Same Name

This week I got together with 2 dudes, both named Marco. Marco #1 was a cute 24 year old bear, while Marco #2 was a thin framed early 40's latino. Although both were fun and sleazy in their own separate way, I think I enjoyed Marco #1 more. That was pretty much the highlight of my week. At first when I sat down and thought about what to write, I kept drawing a blank, couldn't think of anything significant that had happened to me. Then I realized that getting together with 2 dudes with the same name was something significant. I guess my attitude about sex is very casual and non-chalant; it's as normal and average to me as eating or going to work.

Nudity In Public and Ladytron

Last Sunday I spent the day in San Francisco. First I attended the Folsom Street Fair where I got to see plenty of naked butts and dicks and the usual assortment of people dressed in leather. I snapped lots of pics, but since I can't post 'em on Facebook I thought i'd share some here. Hot asses, nice dicks and straight up nakedness.

What I also found really hot were these 2 dudes dressed like officers that got up on stage and started dancing. Hotness hotness hotness!

Later that evening I went up to the Regency Ballroom to see Ladytron. They were good as usual. Much better than the last time I saw them. However, that's partly due to the fact that the dumb bitch I went with last time ruined the show by being a drama queen and throwing a fit. Needless to say I never bothered going to a show with that dumb twat again! It took 'em a while to gain some momentum, opening softly with Soft Power. A few songs later in the set they really took off musically, with an awesome 1-2-3 punch of Runaway, Ace Of Hz and Little Black Angel. Other highlights were Mirage, White Gold, International Dateline, Discotraxx and an awesome finnish with Seventeen. Helen looked cute in a white gown-like blouse and these flowery things in her hair. Mira also looked cute wearing a black dress with cherries, but at the same time she looked bored. However she usually has that unenthusiastic expression so it might just be how she is. Opening act Polaris At Noon was pretty decent. The other dude, Sonoio, was kinda dull, just sitting on the floor while this light panel lit on and off, and he appeared to be lipsynching his techno songs. He seemed to have the personality of a pretentious douchebag too, as he never once engaged with the audience or even aknowledged this obvious fan who was at the front of the stage and waving to him.

It was a great night nonetheless. Hot dudes and live music from a favorite band, who could ask for more?

Sticky Tricks, Tattoos and the Undead

I recently got together with this dude that i've kinda known for some time. I invited him over to my place and i'm sure you know what we did. It was fun and he gave me some helpful info about stuff i've been pondering. The next day he texts me and asks if I wanna meet up again. Sure, why not? So I invite him over. The next day he texts again, and though I was a bit tired I said yeah and had him over, again. And the next day I get another text again, asking me what time I get off work and if i'm free. I pondered it for a while but then said no, made up some excuse. He seemed disappointed and upset. He claimed he was really craving "it". Apparantly the 3 days in a row wasn't enough for him. And I thought I was bad? A few days later he calls again. I didn't answer and then seconds later he texts, asking if i'm free. Ugh! I spent most of last weekend avoiding his texts. I decided to be civil and reply to his text yesterday, as I was busy out with friends anyway and would have an excuse to say no. Instead he asks me for advice regarding his cats, who are spraying inside his place. I cautiously replied, expecting the true motive of his texting to reveal itself. But it never did. I was relieved. Not that I don't enjoy spending time with him, but when you start to want to stick like glue, that makes me uneasy. Yeah, i'm one of those types.

When I wasn't busy avoiding certain texts last weekend, I decided to stop by my tattoo shop and inquire about my latest tattoo idea, maybe put a deposit and make an appointment for the next coming weeks. When I asked for my tattoo artist the owner then tells me that he's in Mexico getting married and plans on opening his own shop, maybe down south (as in Southern California area). My heart sank as I really liked him (his work, that is, not him..... though he is kinda.... ahh nevermind!). So the owner asks me if I want to check out books of some other artists there. After flipping through a few I found this one artist who's work was really good. Turns out he was sitting there in the shop, had some free hours, so I showed him the design, went to the ATM to get out the $$ and 2 hours later I walked out with fresh ink. It's a cross with a rosary draped around it on my left arm. I've been wanting to get a rosary tattooed for some time, and this design really spoke to me when I saw it. Wasn't planning on getting inked so soon again but that's how the cookie crumbled. And i'm already thinking of other ideas for future ink.... perhaps a small bearpaw on my butt.  ;-)

Last night I attended the Zombie-O-Rama fest in my town. It's the 3rd year they had it, I went last year and had fun. Basically it's a festival in downtown area where people are invited to attend dressed like zombies. They have vendors selling food and merchandise, businesses around the area have drink and food specials and will post signs on their door saying "this is a zombie-friendly establishment", they'll have live entertainment and when the sun goes down they'll show a zombie film outdoors on a huge screen in the middle of the park. Last year it was Sean Of The Dead, this year they showed Fido. I got me some make-up and went to my friend's, where we put on our make-up and fake blood and then walked to the event, which is a few blocks from her place. I was pleased with how my make-up came out, with fake shards of glass sticking out of my bloody face. There were lots of cool people dressed in really cool zombie costumes and make-up. My favorite was this girl who was walking her dog, only the dog leash was her intestines that were sticking out of her side. It was a lot of fun watching the reaction of drivers and passersby when they would see us walking down the street, all bloody and rotting.  I'll definitely be making this a yearly tradition.

A random thought on a possible future purchase...

Saturday night I had a guest over. We were.... um.... doing "things" and when his body reached the "promised land" he made a lot of noise. Enough to make me worry that the neighbors might have heard. Perhaps I should invest in a gag ball.....

A day in the life of a geek bear

This morning started with me getting a bunch of texts from this dude I know. I'll call him Legila (**whenever I disguise someone's name I substitute it for the name of a Japanese monster that has the same first initial**). Legila is the type of dude who tends to whine a lot about being single, how there's no quality guys out there, how come he can't find a decent guy, etc, etc. He claims that all guys want is sex and that it's hard for him to find anyone who is interested in dating. And yet, within a few back and forth texts he's suddenly sending me pictures of his dick. I resisted the urge to educate him on how acting slutty too soon will not land him those quality guys that he seeks. When we Capricorns give advice we sometimes come off as bitchy, and besides, Legila is no spring chicken, so if he doesn't know what to do to get the type of guy he seeks then it's probably pointless to tell him. Then I recall Morrissey from The Smiths-era singing "you shut your mouth, how can you say I go about things the wrong way? I am human and I need to be loved.... just like everybody else does..." On the other hand, Morrissey grew up to be a bitter old queen, so clearly his way was the wrong way, but I digress.....

 

After the oversexed text messages from Mr. I Need Love, I shaved, took a shower, then left the house because today was a gorgeous day and I wasn't about to waste it indoors. I got some coffee then stopped at my favorite japanese bookstore down the street from where I live. Kinokuniya is a cool store because they got books, arts and crafts, cd's and dvd's, clothing (I bought a really cool hoodie there), all sorts of writing pens, cute knick knacks and toys. This visit I was in luck because they had a bunch of Ultraman and Ultraseven mini figures for sale. I love getting those figures, they're cute as hell. The only thing is they come in unmarked boxes so you never know what you're going to get and you might end up with repeats in an attempt to get the entire collection, but that's part of the fun. I got some cool friends who like toys anyway so I usually give my extras to them. Here's 2 group shots of the ones I picked up today:

 

Pic 1: (from left to right: Shapuray Seijin, Telesdon, Banila, Ultraman Zoffy, Dorako, Jiras, Gyeron, Pandon & Red King)

 

 

Pic 2: (from left to right: Seabozu, Dino-Tank, King Joe, Keronia, Gyango, Dada, Baltan II, Ultraseven & Woo)

 

 

 Of course there are 2 figures that I really want and didn't get so i'll be going back soon to get more. Oh the insanity of collecting! After that I met up with a friend and we had lunch and some drinks and a nice chat about serial killers, tattoos, healthcare reform, how the 80's music we grew up with is now considered oldies, artwork, how nothing is playing at the movie theatres that we're interested in watching, and made plans for next weekend. The weather is going to be warm this week and i'm hoping it stays warm next weekend as well.

An Observation On Sex And Friendship

A few weeks ago a Facebook friend updated his status, asking his friends to discuss sexual objectification in the gay community. It got me to thinking about how this has affected my life as a gay man. I don't have a lot of gay male friends, and the reason for this seems to be due to sex. It seems that if a guy is trying to get to know me then 9 times out of 10 it's only because he wants to sleep with me. And then, if a guy isn't interested in sleeping with me then he won't bother getting to know me. It's as though many times gay men only see each other as potential sex partners or boyfriends. Now I realize that men tend to be more sexual and i'm definitely not a prude when it comes to sex, but it would be nice to be able to have a friend whose penis hasn't been inside one of my orifices at one point in our friendship. Or to just be able to hang out with a dude knowing that he has no desire to get into my undies or for his main objective in going out with me one night isn't to end the night in my bed, naked and sweaty on top of me. Am I wrong for wanting to be seen as a cool, fun guy instead of just a vessel for you to stick your penis into? And I know that i'm a cool, fun guy because I have plenty of female and straight guy friends who seem to enjoy my company without us ever having gotten sexual. Why is it that most gay men have such a hard time with platonic friendships?

 

I admit that i've been guilty of it myself. But I think in my case i've adopted a "if you can't beat 'em, join em" mentality. I've gotten together with guys who I knew only wanted to sleep with me, figuring that I might as well get something out of it. Though it would be nice if guys could be more direct about it. If you want to sleep with me just say so. Don't give me this crap about wanting to go have a few drinks or "let's watch some dvd's at my place" when you really just want to get me out of my clothes and plow me. I've had guys who were upfront about wanting to have sex with me, and due to their honesty most of those guys got what they wanted. Told you I wasn't a prude! But I digress.....

 

Maybe I need to just change my way of thinking and accept that a sexual connection is still a valid connection. But there's still a small part of me that feels that perhaps we're missing out on opportunities to really get to know someone by choosing to think with our little heads instead of our big heads. I think about the platonic friendships I have and how rewarding and fullfilling they've been, and how they've lasted for years and many will probably last until the day I die. Then I think about the guys i've slept with and how most of those connections never really lasted or progressed any further than meeting up every so often for a mutual blowjob. Friendship and sex have never seemed to go hand in hand for me, so perhaps I need to accept that and keep them seperate. A friend is a friend, a trick is a trick, and like oil and water they shouldn't mix. So with that said, I have plans this upcoming weekend to do fun stuff with friends. Platonic friends. So with my friendship calendar full, who wants a no strings attached blowjob? Hahaha!

On Getting Older

With each year that I get older I find myself reminded more often that I am, indeed, getting older. It's a reality that we all face and we're all aware of it, even in our youth. But not until you begin to experience things does it really hit you.

 

A few days ago I went to a concert to see one of my favorite artists, PJ Harvey. It was in the middle of the week, and I normally no longer see live shows in the middle of the week as I don't have the energy to make it through the next work day. But since she is a favorite I made an exception. And I paid for it! The next day I down energy drinks and caffeine in an attempt to kick start my sagging energy but my body was not having it. Both my mind and body were deliriously laughing at me, and my co-worker noticed immediately that I was not myself. As soon as the work day was over I went home, got into bed and pretty much passed out. My friend who went with me to the show also had to work the next day, and after discussing our self-induced agony, we decided to cancel plans to go out drinking the next night so we could give our bodies and minds a day to heal. Plus I have plans later today to go up to a festival and then another live show after that. I don't work tomorrow so i'll have the luxury of sleeping in. So things like going out drinking or staying out late on a work night are no longer things that I can get away with or will rarely make exceptions for.

 

About the only thing i'll make exceptions for nowadays is sex. What can I say? I'm a guy. A late night play session during the week is still something i'm game for. Not that I don't pay for it, because several times I have. Getting cramps in the middle of switching positions. Developing aches and pains as a result of being in one position for too long. However, these type of things I find humourous. One time I found myself developing sore, stiff muscles in my waist/pelvic area and to the left of my shoulder and neck. Then I remembered that just a few days before I had been with a friend and his buddy. I was topping his buddy from behind while my friend was standing to the left of me, having me blow him. So that explained why I was feeling the pain I was feeling. But when I recalled the good time I had the pain seemed worth it. Nothing that a few Tylenol can't fix, right?