1. I'm growingly more and more thankful that I'm a gay man. Straight dudes gotta jump through hoops just to get a woman to even say hi back with enthusiasm.
2. When taking shots of your ass in the bathroom make sure you close the toilet seat so your phone don't accidentally plop into the water if it slips and falls.
3. Losing weight gets harder in your 40's, so you youngins who want to lose weight should start NOW.
4. Dancing is great exercise... just make sure you go easy on the booze cuz it has a shitload of calories.
5. Tattoos get you compliments from all kinds of people, from teenage girls to 80 year old women at the supermarket (provided your tattoos are unique and not offensive or prison related).
6. Always have a bottle of seltzer water handy when going out wearing white, in case of accidental food or drink stains.
7. Coffee is the crack of the millennium (if ya didn't already know that).
8. Bat For Lashes (aka Natasha) put on a great live show.
9. Ya gotta have respect for a guy who asks if he can cum in your mouth when giving a bj.
10. If someone flakes on you once, give 'em a 2nd chance. If they flake on the 2nd chance FUCK THEM and be done with their flaky asses.
11. I'm officially addicted to jockstraps! (See pic of my latest)